Eddie (Fion O’SHea) and Amber (Lola Petticrew) are two school friends living in a small town near Dublin. Eddie hasn’t had a girlfriend and is constantly made fun of by his school peers who cruelly joke that he might be gay. In the midst of being bullied about his sexual identity he is also confronted with questions of his masculinity because he is in the military cadet program and his father's successful career in the military looms over his head. Amber is in a similar boat to Eddie, she’s an outsider, gets berated for not being “lady-like”, and is constantly referred to as the school’s “lesbo” simply because she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Tired of being harassed and made fun of Amber suggests that she and Eddie should pose as boyfriend and girlfriend to finally get people off their backs, at least until they graduate and can get out of their small town.
The plan works, at least partially, as their new faux romance becomes the talk of the town. However things become tricky when they begin to branch out and explore their sexual identities at a gay bar in Dublin. Confronted and suppressed by the fear of what coming out would mean for him, Eddie decides to succumb to heteronormativity and suggests that he and Amber continue this ruse long-term. However, Amber cannot keep living a double life, not being who she truly is; and she can’t let Eddie do the same. This is a touching coming of age story that asks a lot of hard questions about identity and true happiness.
In general I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. It was competently and beautifully filmed, the humor was self-aware, obnoxious, and hilarious, and the performances were astounding. I thought that the story was fun, heartwarming, and raised some awareness and representation for the LGBTQ+ community that quite frankly doesn’t have enough representation in the media. I guess if there is one thing that I did not like about the movie would be some of the messaging. In particular most LGBTQ+ representation in media is through the lens of tragedy.
Whereas this is probably indicative of reality for a lot of people, I would like to see more media that covers non-hetero relationships in a positive light, where LGBTQ+ children, teens, young adults, and adults alike can see a positive depiction of a healthy romantic relationships with people that are similar to them. If I had children I would have to think hard about if I would want them to see this movie. Not because of it being about gay teenagers but because it is about gay teenagers who can’t be fully accepted until they fake a straight relationship. I would want my children to know that regardless of who they are, what they do, or who they choose to love that they will always hold a special place in my heart and will be whole-heartedly accepted with love. I think this movie does have some good messaging but it does reinforce these ideas that LGBTQ+ people are “others'' and how their love is different.
RORSCHACH RATING:
Mental Health Moment: First and foremost, I need to be very clear with my own identity. As a straight cisgender Christian White man I am very much an outsider, and when it comes to my opinion on LGBTQ+ issues I feel that I don’t have a right to say too much. But to be honest, I haven’t always been on the side of allyship. I was raised in a very conservative Christian background and this affected me dramatically. But over the past few years I wrestled with my faith and what it means for me as I have dear friends and loved ones in the LGBTQ+ community. Basically what this has boiled down to is that regardless of what my faith might say about the LGBTQ+ community I think that it is so important that people should have a safe place in this world and feel loved regardless of their identity. My heart breaks every time I think of the people who have experienced discrimation, rejection by their family, or been a victim of violence simply based on their sexual or gender identity. Research has shown some scary and heartbreaking statistics about the LGBTQ+ community:
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among young people ages 10 to 24.2
LGB youth are almost five times as likely to have attempted suicide compared to heterosexual youth.2
Each episode of LGBT victimization, such as physical or verbal harassment or abuse, increases the likelihood of self-harming behavior by 2.5 times on average.2
LGB youth who come from highly rejecting families are 8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection.2
Transgender people, and in particular trans people of color are more likely to be denied services and treatment, to be harassed, and/or physically attacked because of their identity.1
These statistics are so harrowing and highlight how necessary it is for us to work together towards a society that is more inclusive. Regardless of your religious beliefs, I think you should believe that every person deserves the same essential human rights. No person should be denied healthcare, experience violence, or live in fear just based on who they love or how they identify. So to all of you out there with hate in your heart, please have a point of reflection and ask yourself why someone would deserve to be treated differently or even potentially murdered based on their sexual or gender identity. For all of you on the fence like I was, struggling to reconcile your faith with loving others who are not like you, choose love. Always choose love. For anyone out there who has experienced discrimination, hate, loss, or more because of your sexuality or gender identity, I just hope you know that you have value and you are loved. Be safe and know that I, even though I don’t know you, am here for you and rooting for you.
Bibliography
NCTE. “Murders of Transgender People in 2020 Surpasses Total for Last Year In Just Seven Months.” National Center for Transgender Equality, September 15, 2020. https://transequality.org/blog/murders-of-transgender-people-in-2020-surpasses-total-for-last-year-in-just-seven-months.
The Trevor Project. “Facts About Suicide.” The Trevor Project, September 20, 2017. https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/preventing-suicide/facts-about-suicide/.
If you or someone you know is reading this right now and you are struggling with suicide, depression, addiction, or self-harm - please reach out. Comment, message or tweet to us. Go to victimsandvillains.net/hope for more resources. Call the suicide lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Text "HELP" to 741-741. There is hope & you DO have so much value and worth!
Victims and Villains is written Josh "Captain Nostalgia" Burkey (and produced by) and more. Music by Mallory Johnson and others. Dating Amber is property of Samuel Goldwyn Pictures. We do not own nor claim any rights. Dating Amber is available on demand and digital beginning November 10th, 2020.
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