The ocean can be a downright terrifying place. I was recently having a conversation with one of our editors, Cam Smith, about the reality of our undersea life. Sure, more recent movies like Underwater; have explored the nature of that horror. It’s our actual reality that is actually quite terrifying. They say we are scared of what we don’t understand, right? Though, how much can we really say we know about the ocean. We’ve explored more of the moon, and to a lesser degree Mars, than we have the actual ocean. Something that is right here in our own backyard. 71% of our entire planet is made up of water. The scariest part of that is that we’ve only touched the surface of what really lies underneath the ocean; only five percent to be exact.

Sure, movies like Jaws or even Piranha have explored such fears. Jaws terrified people to stay out of the ocean when the movie opened up originally in 1975. While it was based on a freak statistic, it’s still a terrifying thought nonetheless. Sharks aside, the ocean has the ability to take life. Given the fact that we only know about 5% of what’s actually underneath who’s to say it’s not harboring aliens underneath. I know, I know – I’ve kind of just posed a question that’s kind of out there. What if it’s not, though? That’s the very nature of the film, The Beach House. The film explores what could happen should an extraterrestrial force end up in our ecosystem. Or at least that’s one of the conclusions that I’ve made about it.

The movie stars Liana Liberato & Noah Le Gros as Randall & Emily, a couple, staying at Randall’s father’s beach house – only to get unexpected company in his father’s friends, the Turners (Jake Weber, Maryanne Nagel). So much of this movie makes literally no sense. To start, with, the very characters of The Turners had no business being here. Even for a very intimidate setting already, Weber and Nagel make the film feel crowded. Their very presence diverts exposition that could have been better used. The two are in a handful of scenes and then are just dropped by the narrative. Sure, Weber’s demise opens up the plot for elements of the plot. I guess, but even that notion is stretching for their purpose. Why did they have to be in this movie for a solid hour? That is two thirds of the film with little to no overarching purpose.

Audiences can see that the film has several different elements from older horror that has gone before it. Beach House takes inspiration from John Carpenter, H.P. Lovecraft & John W. Campbell, Jr. – just to name a few. In some ways, it feels like a love letter to these pioneers. However, it borders abomination in the process. From the opening frame, the visuals leave audiences to expect something that will happen with the notion. Some element of the ocean is gonna serve as the antagonistic element here. Then as we are getting to know Liberato a bit more, that notion is hammered in. Even when the film has a character succumbs to their demise, it looks like this is gonna be a plot point. The filmmakers never actually set anything up. There is a plethora of things that happen but that’s it. Nothing is ever actually explained here, you just see stuff without context. That is the biggest mistake the film makes. Had it actually taken the time to create a through line, this would be a different conversation.

Overall, The Beach House, borders cinematic abomination and almost joins the ranks of the Turning. It is the visual nature of the film that saves it. The acting is merely okay; falling into line with the remainder of the film. Beach pulls from inspiration across the horror and sci-fi genres alike. Though, the end result is messier than The Thing’s final form. A lack of character development, plot development and misuse of screen time make this a slow, dull, and all-around boring watch. The ocean is scarier than The Beach House in every way imaginable.

RORSCHACH RATING:

Victims and Villains is written Josh "Captain Nostalgia" Burkey (and produced by), Caless Davis, Dan Rockwood, & Brandon Miller . Music by Mallory Jameson. & various artists. The Beach House is property of Shudder. We do not own nor claim any rights. The Beach House is now available exclusively on Shudder.

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