“Cosmoball” is an Unorganized Light Show Disguised as a Movie
When I started Victims and Villains it was never intended to be what it has grown to be. It began as a way for me to reconnect with an old friend I had lost contact with. We just got together to talk about movies and comics. It was always envisioned as a way to celebrate the nerdy side of pop culture. When September, Suicide Awareness month, came across the calendar, I challenged my co-host to step outside of his comfort zone and talk about suicide and mental health. We did and over the next few months we began the process of figuring out what Victims and Villains looks like as a podcast that talks about both pop culture and suicide awareness. During this change, our focus remained on movies and comics.
Over the years since then, the gentleman who helped me start Victims has since stepped down. Every once and while he will come back and help out. Victims has exceeded my wildest dreams. It has grown to a non-profit and we have done nearly fifty events and conventions, bringing the conversation of mental health awareness and resources to our existing audience and new listeners, face to face. We have welcomed new voices to our platform. We have grown to become a non-profit. Yet, we still have a great deal of growing - sports being a major area of focus that needs to be addressed. We are privileged to have a couple voices who are truly passionate about sports and we are always seeking more, all with the intent to reach new audiences and remind them of their hope.
Over the past couple of years we’ve established traditions based around sports. We’ve covered the last few Wrestlemania events (2019 (Part One, Part Two), 2020) while also establishing a Superbowl tradition. We will cover a football movie and release it right before the big game. So far, we’ve covered Gridiron Gang, The Waterboy, and The Faculty. Thus I found myself easily relating to the main protagonist Anton, played by Yevgeny Romntsov, in Cosmoball. The film depicts a dystopian future where aliens have crash-landed to Earth and now live among us. These new visitors have also brought a new game that everyone is obsessed with, called Cosmoball. There is more to this plot, but this is the line in the sand I’m going to draw. The narrative dances around unnecessary overcomplication way too much. It’s like every time the film introduces us to someone new, the film feels the need to give them a convoluted purpose. In the midst of being overly complex, the last act of this film is the equivalent of watching a laundry cycle. It’s incredibly boring, slow and uneventful.
Yes, the film gives climatic moments but they are few and far between. Time is spent with characters that literally offer nothing to the narrative. Just to place in perspective with what I’m talking about, think about the family from the 2017’s theatrical Justice League or the people on ground level in 2012’s The Avengers. It just seems pointless, like the filmmakers were attempting to extend the runtime and forgot about everything else. Even the action in the final act feels bland. This isn’t just the only place the issues lie, there are characters throughout who are stock representations. There came a point where I found myself questioning, “why is this character even here anyways?” Time was wasted on forced love triangles between characters, undeveloped plot lines, and an increasingly complex narrative.
For this being a science fiction film it is a visually stimulating movie. A good deal of the cosmoball sequences are stunning, a real visual highlight of the movie. Even some of the characters who are completely digital seem stunning. The character designs of the Sputniks are adorable. They are not alone. The character designs of Valaya (Maria Lisovaya) and her father Cherno are also great. Their transformations from actors to aliens are among the film’s few redeeming qualities. Unfortunately, much like most of the film, even the visual effects fall victim to the treacherous third act. By the time our hero meets our villain, the visual effects look like they just copy and pasted a cut scene from a PlayStation One fighting game. To call this embarrassing for the movie would be an understatement.
So much of Cosmoball feels like a mess. The character relationships, the pacing, and the structure of the movie are rough. It never feels like any characters truly mesh well together, as Anton is thrust into the world of Cosmoball, a world of which he is not a fan. His teammates feel forced to say the least. There is little to no chemistry between them. They all feel like caricatures of characters we’ve seen in the past. Pacing is a huge flaw for this movie. At the big climatic scene, which kicks off the film’s infamous third act, viewers are met with an underwhelming amount of content that clocks in at forty minutes. The first act takes its time to develop the world and the sport of Cosmoball, while the second act seems to fly by with ease leading us into our messy finale.
Overall, Cosmoball is proof that you can’t rely on visuals alone to save your movie. While the film presents a fun concept, it is quickly overtaken by awkward pacing, undeveloped characters, and a laughably terrible third act. Cosmoball could have been great in another medium but it fails to deliver as a film. The movie is forgettable at best and could earn its place among this year’s worst films. Cosmoball would be a more fun experience to play than to sit through this mess again.
RORSHACH RATING:
Mental Health Moment: Perhaps one of the more redeeming qualities about Cosmoball is its first act. When the audience meets Anton, we are introduced to an out of work Cosmoball hater who wants to provide for his family. He’s a black sheep because of it. As I previously mentioned, this society is obsessed with this sport. It’s more than just sports though. As we discussed last year in our Misery episode, toxic fandom is something that transcends passions. Whether it’s sports or comic fans, each sect of pop culture has its own ticking time bomb.
We fail to see it from any viewpoint beside our own. This takes its toll on mental health. There are some conversations I won’t have with certain people because I feared the toxicity of the response. We are all born differently with different viewpoints and different passions. Welcome and celebrate the differences. You never know when your fandom’s bullying could push someone to the brink of depression, self-harm, addiction, or worse - suicide.
If you or someone you know is reading this right now and struggling with suicide, depression, addiction, or self-harm - please reach out. Comment, message, or tweet at us. Go to victimsandvillains.net/hope for more resources. Call the suicide lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Text "HELP" to 741-741. There is hope & you DO have so much value and worth!
Victims and Villains is written (and produced) by Josh "Captain Nostalgia" Burkey and others, and edited by Cam Smith. Music by Mallory Johnson and others. Cosmoball is property of Well Go USA. We do not own nor claim any rights.
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